Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
