somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
