Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
