The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
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