Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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