walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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