you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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