my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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