My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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