There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
