I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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