Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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