What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
