He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
