he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
