i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
