I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize