I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
