I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I have feelings that need drinking.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
