He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
