I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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