so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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