OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
