I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
