It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Randomize
