You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I have already put on my inside pants.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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