I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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