So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
