she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
