saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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