then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize