we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
