What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
