She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
