my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
