Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
