There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
