hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Randomize
