i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
