So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
