so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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