youre lurking in front of me
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
