after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
