Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Randomize
