What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
