I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
