2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Pappa wants mamma naked
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Randomize
