Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
