There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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