had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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