I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
