im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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