Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
