I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
