I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
This toilet bowl is my home.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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