Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
