Grow some girl-balls and come out already
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
