After last night, I could never be a politician.
from now on my penis is your penis
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
