My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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